Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wedding on a Budget

When I was growing up or even as an adult, I do not think that cultural / geographical differences in wedding traditions had ever occurred to me. Or maybe I’ve just never known anyone so grand as to have a ‘grand’ wedding. I think I assumed weddings took place in a church and then everyone would head over to a reception hall, eat heavy appetizers, drink and be merry.

After all, a wedding is a celebration, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve never thought it approproiate to sit and dissect every detail to determine whether or not the family or couple would be filing bankrupty the following week or maxing out a credit card to pay for it. You are focused on the bride and groom and their happiness, right?

Wrong. I guess. When John and I started planning our wedding, or when I started trying to force my southern views of what a wedding was on him, I think initially he thought it a bit under scale. And I think deep down he was concerned of what his family and friends would think when they came from their area only to discover that ours is much different.

So after much debate and haggling, I convinced him that heavy appetizers are ok, and beer and wine will suit anyone fine. Who needs a full, open bar?

His initial thoughts came full circle for me today when I was corresponding with someone whose Detroit wedding he participated in oh, about a month ago. I had complimented her and told her that everything was ‘stunning’ I think I said… We were discussing budgets, differences, etc. when she commented, As for food, a sit down dinner here is a must and a buffet is a sign of a “wedding on a budget”.

When I read this I thought, yikes, is there something shameful about being on a budget? I don’t think any of us fall into the Donald Trump category where money is no object. Given everything going on, we should all be on a budget. So if you are one who is sitting and dissecting the details of my wedding, please also include in your evaluation that John and I will not be standing in line at bankruptcy as a newly married couple because we refused to stick to a budget 


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  2. Don't worry too much about others opinions. Your wedding just needs to be beautiful for you two and no one else. As long as you and John are happy with the details, nothing else matters.

  3. I have been to many of these all-out affairs (they're all the same - boring) and I tend to think "how stupid" rather than "how impressive". I think it's a lot smarter to live within your means and do something nice that you like and will make you feel good - before and after- rather than worrying about other people. I think a lot of these all out deals end up in divorce not long afterward. And on the bar situation, I think as long as you are providing some alcohol, beer and wine is totally fine.