Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Life With Children

The big issue that is brewing on my mind today is when John and I decide to have kids, should I stay home, or not? Funny that this topic seems to be something that I continually find myself pondering during my spare moments (which aren’t many since I am often consumed with knitting thoughts and knitting lust), but really… Could I be the type of person to stay home?

If all goes according to plan, this is not something that will happen anytime in the next two years – so it is not like there are any quick decisions to make here, but I just want to know how people come to the conclusion to stay home with kids. I work with a bunch of men, which I am sure that you have picked up on by now, and many of their wives stay at home. Lucky for them, our compensation structure can support such lifestyles. Maybe I should let John stay home… Nah, forget about that.

Maybe if I were not an equal contributor in our home it would be easier for me to see, but I am an equal contributor. How do you cut out one entire income? What has to happen for me to say staying home with our kids is worth it and I am willing to make that sacrifice? I think that it is a really unselfish thing to say – and probably not something that I will be able to say until I am acting as a human incubator to John’s spawn. I am sure when this does occur I will stop referring to pregnant women as incubators and babies as spawn 

Yes, we definitely are not there yet.


  1. Obviously I've not been in this situation myself, but what I hear from people who have is that you never really know how you will be until the kids are actually here. I think in the next few years, you should still save money the way you would if you were planning to stay home, in case that ends up being the case. You'll never be sorry that you saved money, but you may be sorry if you don't. Babies are expensive!

  2. Ah....babies aren't that expensive. That's when you make every attempt to breastfeed (formula is high), have a few diaper showers (they poop a lot) and have generous friends willing to load you up with everything you need to bring your baby home to. Whatever decision you decide Annie, your baby will ALWAYS know who mama is, although it would be very hard to let them grow up in a day care. You DID get your master's, and for me, I made my decision to be a working mother when I went for my masters. You and John will figure out what's best for you and your family though, and in the mean time, probably referring to babies as babies is better than the term "spawn." You make me laugh.


  3. I made the decision to stay home realizing that all the "things" in life were not what was most important but rather my role as momma. I only get ONE chance to raise them correctly and when I have finished that role then I will be able to look back and say I really gave it my best shot possible. And believe me when I say that there is NO MORE IMPORTANT role than mommy! I was a charge nurse in critical care before I had my children pondering work on my master's degree and moving up the ladder in hospital administration. I have never looked back. None of that seems important to me now that my oldest is in high school. It is the look they give me when they are up performing in the orchestra or piano recital knowing that I wouldn't rather be any place else.
    As far as the money goes, we just bought our house based on one income just in case something happened to alter our income status. I would rather wear clothes bought on sale at Kohls and be at my child's tennis match than wear fancy clothes and drive a BMW!