My feelings lately have been kind of interesting. I first received word that I would be losing my job at the beginning of June. The process of my losing my job has not been an easy one. No one came into my office one day and said, "hey, this is it..." It has dragged on for almost 6 months. Literally. Throughout this time I have felt a lot of emotions - anger, anxiety, relief, excitement. John and I have planned, budgeted, replanned, rebudgeted, so on and so forth. Last night my father in law said to me, "man, you just don't seem worried about losing your job at all... if it were me, I would be worried." Naturally when someone says something to me I start to - worry - that I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I should be worried more. Maybe something is wrong with me because I am not more worried. John and I were discussing it this morning and he plainly said, "you know, we've come to terms with it. We have a budget. If it doesn't work, you can find a job." Plain. Simple. Not worried.
So - maybe I'm not abnormal. Maybe I've already done all of my worrying. And, maybe, just maybe, I've turned this worry over to someone else. I am now counting down my remaining work days on my fingers. I don't know where I will end up, or what I will be doing, but I know I'll be ok. And with that, there is nothing to worry about.